A Spell in the Country by Heide Goody & Iain Grant

Author:Heide Goody & Iain Grant [Goody, Heide & Grant, Iain]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: British, Witches, comedy
ISBN: 9780995749740
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
Published: 2018-02-23T00:00:00+00:00

“So,” said Effie, managing to imbue the single syllable with a sense of disappointment, annoyance, resignation and optimism, “it appears that, having one day at Eastville Hall to reflect on matters, Sabrina has decided not to continue with this course.”

“Did she say why?” asked Dee.

“I merely received the message that it ‘wasn’t for her’.”

“She means it was beneath her,” said Norma, in tones suggesting she harboured similar thoughts.

“Did she say anything to you yesterday?” Dee asked Shazam.

“You know she doesn’t talk to me much,” said Shazam. “Though she did insist on separate treatments after Mr Beetlebane got a bit bitey in the sauna.”

“This is obviously very sad,” Effie continued, “and I will be getting in touch with Sabrina to discuss the matter. On a more immediate and practical note, this does mean that, given it relied on Sabrina’s family contacts, our planned trip to the Pendle Library is off.”

“Oh, that is a shame,” said Norma.

“I think that Sabrina throwing in the towel is more of a downer than a cancelled trip to Oxford,” said Caroline.

“Cambridge,” corrected Effie.

“Whatever.”

Norma huffed. “This ridiculous love-in residential holds few points of genuine interest for a professional witch such as myself, but a chance to visit the Pendle Library of Witchcraft was one of them. I was particularly keen to read the scholarly articles on the Peatling Magna incident in two thousand—”

Effie interrupted: “That is no longer possible. So, I thought we might spend today looking at another aspect of the course: astrology, divination and other forms of fortune-telling.”

“This is my point entirely!” spat Norma. “What could you possibly teach me about fortune-telling?”

“Nothing at all, Norma dear,” said Effie blithely. “Which is why I thought you might be able to lead much of today’s teaching.”

“Oh, yes,” said Shazam. She pulled a slender catalogue out of her handbag. “I could do with some guidance. I’m looking to buy a new crystal ball and deck of tarot cards, and I wasn’t sure what to go for. I’ve been using my Woodland Faerie Folk deck of late but I’m not sure if it has the right magical oomph.”

“Oomph?” repeated Norma.

“Mmmm, yes. Celeste says I should perhaps try a Dreaming Angels pack, or maybe a Tranquillity Gems, but I’m not sure.”

“Celeste?” said Caroline.

“Yes. She runs the One Stop Sorcery shop where I get all my things.”

Norma reached over, snatched the sparkly purple catalogue from Shazam’s hand and scrutinised it, her expression furious. “Bloody Americans and their ridiculous nonsense! They’re not real witches. If they weren’t ten thousand miles away, I’d give them a piece of my mind!”

“Oh, they’re not based in America. Their main shop is in Skegness.” She pointed at the mail order address sticker on the front of the magazine.

“Skegness?” said Kay.

“That’s about fifteen miles thataway, isn’t it?” said Dee.

“Fifteen miles,” blustered Norma. “Ten thousand miles,”

Caroline cleared her throat and looked at Effie. “Do we still have the minibus booked for today?”

“Today’s plan is fortune-telling, Caroline.”

Shazam let out a sudden, “Ooh, ooh, ooh!” as though she had sat on a ice cube.

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